Friday, October 8, 2010

Ahhh the small things...

Ok so I am a little embarassed to admit this, and its kind of silly at the same time. So last week as I was driving to pick up my husband from work 2 guys hit on me. Ok, ok...now dont jump to conclusions here. No I was not fishing to be hit on and NO I was not wearing the bikini shown below. I just happened to be driving the car on a beautiful fall summer like day with the windows down. I was enjoying my tunes when I pulled up to a red light. Not thinking anything of it I hear someone say "HEY" I ignore and make some stereo adjustments and hear another "hey you" I look over and 2 guys are pulled up next to me the driver leaning over his buddy and both of them saying hey. I look over with a little bit of hesitation and say "hey" with my brows furled in a little bit of confusion. They proceed to try small talk, first about the car, which is funny because all I know about my car is learned from Fernando, and I keep thinking he would be so proud of me because I was actually listening when he told me about the car...lol. Secondly they proceed to say well we really like your car and its very nice looking and then they say "you look really good in it" followed with "but I am sure you already know that" and I reply with a ..."thanks"...believe me with some hesitation...it was a very weird and somewhat awkward situation, but I am not going to lie after the light turned green and I was heading on my way to pick up Fernando I thought to myself...I STILL GO IT!...lol Its funny that something like this can give you that extra little pick me up to think that you can do this! I am not going to lie the old me started to think of things like oh geeze these guys are probably just being jerks and having a good laugh now that "the fat girl" thinks that we were hitting on her. Or really all they cared about was the car. Yes, yes these are the thoughts I would have grown up with. Gots to love the low self-esteem that comes with being overweight for so long. I always wanted so badly to be thought of as beautiful and what one may have called a potential threat to other girls in the dating scene almost 10 or more years ago, but I just never had that. OK...now to stop the pitty party. Please do keep in mind I do not think I am ugly, however my actual body-image not so great. There is no doubt in my mind that Fernando does think I am beautiful and treats me as so. In fact he is actually really good at telling me so, and NO it does not take a perfect stranger to make me feel beautiful. However I am not going to lie and tell you that a perfect stranger going out of his way to say so...well it does make me feel good. So is that wrong? I mean I know I am married, but is there something wrong with this. Oh and a side not I did tell my husband after picking him up and he was MORE proud of the fact that I knew the stuff about the car then the fact that some guy was flirting...lol...doesnt surprise me...lol...Anyway.... I still have a lot to work on body image wise, and heres to feeling beautiful on the inside and out, feeling stronger, and reaching my goals of a lifetime! Heres to being my HOT self at 30!!

2 comments:

  1. You just need to remember that "we" (as in your family) always knew this all along! Who could pass on your beautiful eyes, hair, personality... etc... (if your embarrassed...don't be!) We love you!
    Did I ever tell you about the time a couple of guys followed me to a store in Ogden... in our Yellow Chev. Cavalier.... it was pretty sporty... funny how fast they drove off when I got out of the car 7 months pregnant!! Lol..
    You've still got it... then again... you always have had it!

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  2. That's right you've still got it! Way to work it Puka! And, for the record I've always thought you're beautiful, inside and out. I'm proud of you for persevering through this challenge, way to show 'em what you're made of! Love you cousin!

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