4 days and counting...

So this last week I have made a commitment to myself to work out daily. So far we are 4 for 4 and I am hoping it will get easier. I am trying to use all my willpower and coordination to go to Zumba. The new latin infused, hip-hop, dance freakie, aerobic workout. So my local Rec. Center offers these Zumba classes that are included in my monthly membership. So I figure I might as well take advantage of them right? RIGHT! So I decide to lace up my shoes and off to class I go. Thinking, oh wait knowing, that I can bust a move with the best so I should be just fine. Final last words...All i know is I did not realize that my feet could get so twisted up. All I can picture is the story my mom use to tell me about her getting so twisted up in her skis on her honeymoon that the ski patrol had a difficult time untwisting her. I can seriously picture it, and now I am following in her footsteps. Minus the snow and skis and mountain and a few other things, but that is besides the point. Even though I may trip over my feet more then once, I must admit I do still have fun. 60 mins of laughing at myself, and smiling is great for ones inner self. I love a workout that goes by fast, makes me "glisten" and burns calories. Oh and can I just say the woman teaching the class, I believe her name to be Tess, well all I can say is if I keep doing this and end up looking like her I will be one happy camper. She is 41 and looks no older then 31...here's to looking 10 years younger.

Speaking of which, my 30th is knocking on the door. I cant say that I am not happy about this, but somewhat shocked. Where did all this time go? I can not believe that I am almost 30 I do feel like I just graduated high school and that I was just living with mom and dad. Seriously I am an adult, how did this happen? I can not believe that I have allowed so much time to past and not accomplish some of the things I had thought I would by this time in life, and no we are not talking children. Although to take a step back and think that when my mother was my age she had 3 children...well that is a little bit of a snatch my breath thing. I do have friends with 3 children, but I can honestly say I can not imagine my life with 3, and I don't think I would have done this differently. There are reasons for everything and me not having children in life well I do think it is a blessing. I think if I had children this journey of weight loss may have never happened...along with so many other things.

Ok now for a not so serious note. So being as my 30th is knocking on the door. February 15th to be exact. I am looking to do something fun. Something BIG!! To celebrate the birthday along with this new journey in life. I am thinking something tropical or cruise like. Any suggestions or ideas?

500

Well last night after doing some lovely cleaning and cooking I sat down for a minute to relax and on came "Biggest Loser" immediately I felt guilty for not exercising or going to the gym. Man guilt sure can run away with me that is for sure. So me being the person I am and have a hard time dealing with guilt gets thinking, OK I need to be doing something. Exercising, something to get going. So while I am watching the show the 1st challenge comes on which is used in illuminating people and qualifying them to go to the ranch. The challenge is 500 steps and who can do it the fastest. Me being the person I am thinks to myself..."500 steps, that is easy". Then I think to myself "if its so easy then do it". I hesitate for a minute thinking nahhh...I just know I can do it. No need to prove it to anyone, but then think to myself well I do need to get my workout in tonight, so why not?! So I head over to my top stair and start counting. 1,2,3....50...100...and so and, and so on. By 250 I am definitely moving a lot slower, and starting to glisten. I keep going and push through to 500, and seriously got my heart rate going. Not as easy as it looked, definitely doable, but not a piece of cake that is for sure. Now on to bigger things!

Has it really been this long??

Well I am sure that a certain friend of mine would exclaim YES to the question above, and I wish I had a good enough excuse as to why it has been so long. I honestly think that things started changing for me and well I was not living up to the standard or expectations that I had set for myself. I guess that is one of my flaws and something I need to work on. These past few months the weight has started to slow down a little when it comes to coming off. What I mean by this is well I am still loosing, but I its not melting off as easy as I would like it to. Yes such is life, and yes I knew this would happen, but really I was not emotionally prepared for this. I took it as a failure. I have beaten myself up when it comes to this. If I was not averaging 2lbs loss a week, well I was feeling terrible about myself. I was going back to my emotions pre-surgery and pre-weight loss attempts. Getting myself thinking that I was just going to fail again. I know, I know it all takes time and hang in there you will get through this. I know all the sayings and all the thoughts to just "buck up", and "your doing great". I have heard it all, but it honestly did not matter to me what anyone said, I myself needed to feel like I was doing great.

So I finally had a breakthrough, it took me a while, but it came. So lately I have decided its time to clean up things in life. You know if I am changing my outward appearance why not work on cleaning up things around me. So starting with my craft room/office I did just that. With many different things in this room from old bills to drills and thread to candles there was a lot to go through, and on thing I happened to come across is something that really made my day. I found an old booklet I had from Weight Watchers. I am sure many of us have seen them, they are a tri-fold booklet with your weight for the day and then your loss for that week. Stamped each time you attend the meeting and accumulate your weight loss. Well I found one (meaning I probably have more then one floating around) of mine from 2008. A little more then 2 years ago with my lowest weight tracked at 244. I looked at that again 244 in 2008...wow I am lower then that! REally! WOW I guess I have made some changes, I thought to myself. I know, I know what you are thinking...duh Heather we have told you that, but to be honest I was just not feeling it. So seeing this has really helped. To see some past history where I was not able to reach my goals and to now see myself pass the past weight loss tries. Well I guess it motivated me, helped me to realize again I can do this. Pumped me up if you will! ANyway I am back and ready to do this. Lifes trials are just that trials and tries. Its time to TRY at this TRIAL and SUCCEED!!

Still Learning...

Ughhh... So last night was interesting. So I think sometimes that I think that I am "normal". I forget that I am not invincible and that the band will disapprove of certain things. And well last night was no exception to this rule. Last night we had gone with some good friends to this great little spot downtown called Shogun, its a sushi bar. It had a great little patio area and great atmosphere. I had been craving sushi and I know when I go out with these friends it is not hard to convince to get sushi. So I ordered my rolls and headed back to the table. Put in one piece and doing good. Second piece ok...however all of the sudden it was stuck. Seriously...i have 2 rolls sitting in front of me and I am stuck on the second piece. Geeze...now the real problem what do I do. I am in public feel like i need to up-chuck this because it hurts. So I do what any girl would do excuse themselves from the table and head FAST to the bathroom. Luckily there was nobody else in there, because unfortunately it was coming back out. I was so irritated and embarrassed. Ugh it was so uncomfortable. Finally after a few minutes I was feeling better headed back to the table and passed my plate to someone else. Bummer I won't be enjoying Sushi for a long time. Who knows if I ever will be able to. I may try another approach some time in the future, but not the near future. That was a little more pain then I like to experience espcially in public. So the moral of the story no sushi for me... :(

Little life Changes

So in this new adventure one thing I have told myself is to make baby steps in changing the way I do things. With that being said or thought or whatever you want to think today was one of those days to practice what I think. So I decided to accomplish two things at once. I walked to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. I know for some of you who know where I live you may think big deal, but for me I feel like this is a step in the right direction. Although to be honest it was somewhat of an easy walk, at least it was a walk. Baby steps ok!...lol. Nahh we are getting there.

Also something even more fun is I picked up some new workout gear. So if anyone knows me I love shopping and fashion. I love finding a good deal and I love feeling good in what I am wearing. I have been trying so hard to refrain from shopping due to the fact that well I am hoping not to be in sizes for very long. So I have decided to try and limit my purchases, however I can always justify a new workout outfit. Right? Right! I was once told that if you feel good about how you look you have a tendency to work harder and push yourself at the gym. So no argument here I will definitely find the outfit that makes me feel best. So I now am the new owner of 2 new outfits or gym gear and am feeling good. I think I am hooked on the capri workout pants now. Maybe after a few more pounds loss I will post some pics of the new gear.

Firsts...

So before I forget I thought I would share my first "fill" experience. So I think the majority of you have heard me discuss what a "fill" is, but just in case. A "fill" consists of adding saline to my band to make it tighter so that the food moves slower into my stomach leaving me filling full for longer. Well after surgery we are asked to come in about 4 weeks later for your first adjustment or fill. As scheduled I went in. I wasn't really sure what to expect. I was a little nervous, I mean there is a huge needle involved so what do you expect. So basically it goes like this. Nurse 1 said to nurse 2, do you want to give it a try. I think to myself...try?? Ummm guys I don't think she should be doing this if she is only trying. I want an experienced person doing this, this is my first time. Needless to say it made me all the more nervous. Nurse 2 started feeling around on my abdomen and pressing hard. It was slightly uncomfortable. All I could think is I may be fat, but seriously I still have feeling in my stomach. I actually said something to nurse 2 to let her know it was hurting. She said oh just a minute. Finally after her "thinking" she might have found the port nurse 1 steps into to double check. Hey thanks for checking...nurse 1. Anyway long story short my first "fill" experience not the most pleasant. Not terrible, but not comfortable that is for sure. Here is hoping that my next adjustment which will be next week will be a little better.

Niece and Nephew WORKOUTS!!

Well it has been absolutely too long. I know this and have been reminded of this often by friends and family. I do need to apologize. Life has gotten busy, but that just isnt a good enough excuse. I am vowing to be better at this. I know that I do better reaching my goals when I write them down. So I need to start on it.

I am doing pretty good it was 2 months on the 29th of June, and I am down 32lbs which I can not complain about. I am feeling so much more energy. This past few weeks I have had the opportunity to spend time with my niece and nephews. Its amazing how much more energy I have to play with them. So something about me is I have the cutest niece and nephews. I have been spoiled to have such great kids to enjoy. I love spending time with them and the best thing about it is I get to be a kid again when i play with them. I love it!! Can I just say it has been YEARS since I was on a trampoline, and probably more because of my weight, and the nervousness of getting on the trampoline and causing some things to break, and not just on me. It is amazing the confidence that I have after loosing 30lbs. I love running around and playing with the kids. They keep me on my toes that is for sure. It also has helped this past weekend when I did not have time to get in a workout because of spending time with the family, I was able to get my workout by chasing around the kids. Thanks Melisa for sharing.