Has it really been this long??

Well I am sure that a certain friend of mine would exclaim YES to the question above, and I wish I had a good enough excuse as to why it has been so long. I honestly think that things started changing for me and well I was not living up to the standard or expectations that I had set for myself. I guess that is one of my flaws and something I need to work on. These past few months the weight has started to slow down a little when it comes to coming off. What I mean by this is well I am still loosing, but I its not melting off as easy as I would like it to. Yes such is life, and yes I knew this would happen, but really I was not emotionally prepared for this. I took it as a failure. I have beaten myself up when it comes to this. If I was not averaging 2lbs loss a week, well I was feeling terrible about myself. I was going back to my emotions pre-surgery and pre-weight loss attempts. Getting myself thinking that I was just going to fail again. I know, I know it all takes time and hang in there you will get through this. I know all the sayings and all the thoughts to just "buck up", and "your doing great". I have heard it all, but it honestly did not matter to me what anyone said, I myself needed to feel like I was doing great.

So I finally had a breakthrough, it took me a while, but it came. So lately I have decided its time to clean up things in life. You know if I am changing my outward appearance why not work on cleaning up things around me. So starting with my craft room/office I did just that. With many different things in this room from old bills to drills and thread to candles there was a lot to go through, and on thing I happened to come across is something that really made my day. I found an old booklet I had from Weight Watchers. I am sure many of us have seen them, they are a tri-fold booklet with your weight for the day and then your loss for that week. Stamped each time you attend the meeting and accumulate your weight loss. Well I found one (meaning I probably have more then one floating around) of mine from 2008. A little more then 2 years ago with my lowest weight tracked at 244. I looked at that again 244 in 2008...wow I am lower then that! REally! WOW I guess I have made some changes, I thought to myself. I know, I know what you are thinking...duh Heather we have told you that, but to be honest I was just not feeling it. So seeing this has really helped. To see some past history where I was not able to reach my goals and to now see myself pass the past weight loss tries. Well I guess it motivated me, helped me to realize again I can do this. Pumped me up if you will! ANyway I am back and ready to do this. Lifes trials are just that trials and tries. Its time to TRY at this TRIAL and SUCCEED!!