Mental Block...

So lately this new lifestyle has become a huge mental challenge for me. What I mean by this is so much of this change needs to happen in my head. I always new that it would be mental, but I would honestly have to say that it is probably 90% mental, and a lot more difficult then expected. I never thought it would be easy per say, but I guess what I did think is that I would be strong enough and not experience this part of it. I didn’t realize how much I think about food let alone think that I “need” food. At times its just the action of the chewing of food, and then it’s the flavors, it’s not because I am hungry or need the nutrients its just because I crave the actual food itself. Some might say then chew on some gum…well just so you are aware my brain is smarter then that an can not be fooled. When going through the different lap-band prep classes the stress to you the importance of this procedure only being a “tool”, and now I know what this means. Don’t get me wrong I am not giving up. All I know is I still have a lot of work to do both physically and mentally. Time to set some goals, and work hard on them. Time to keep myself busy, and out of the refrigerator. Time to spend more time at the gym.

ER

So it’s been a while…I know. It has been a very eventful week or two.

Last week started out well. I went and did some strength training with Dad on Monday. He knows his stuff and really helped me out. Tuesday I was feeling ok. I had some soreness was just chalking it up to my workout from the day before. Wednesday comes around and I am extremely sore. Sore and having other problems. I was a little concerned. It wasn’t the normal muscle sore it was a pain in my lower back. I decided not to wait to long, because with surgery only have been 3 weeks prior I didn’t want to mess around. So into the dr. I went. He tells me I am constipated. I think to myself are you sure, heck I even ask him if he thinks I might have a kidney infection because of my symptoms. He said no, and sent me off with a RX in hand. Went to the pharmacy filled the RX and started on it ASAP. Hoping to help alleviate the pain. No such luck. Later that evening in order to sleep I decided to take things into my own hand and use some of my left over Loritab to help me sleep. I was miserable, and I knew this would do the trick, and it did. Woke up in the morning feeling pretty good still a little sore, but nothing I couldn’t bare. Started on our way to work while the pain started getting worse and worse. Dropped the hubby off at work and headed into work. Still not feeling so great. Decided to just take it easy and then when the Dr’s office opened at 8am I would call them and give them an update of the pain and the RX not helping. Mind you it is 6am and I am trying to deal for 2hours. Call at 8am and the Dr. is unavailable, of course. Relay the message and question and say I need to know what to do ASAP, because I am in a lot of pain now. Wait around till 8:30 and still no call back as to what to do, decide to take things into my own hand and head into the ER. Now I am not a huge ER fan. I mean seriously I can count on one hand and probably 3 fingers how many times I myself have had to go to the ER. So when I decided to go I was in pain believe me. Well was admitted fairly quickly and the nurse came in to ask a few questions. The doctor soon came in after. Ordered a CT scan and started running tests. Two attempts by the “crappy” nurse I received an IV for some pain killers. ( I have a bruise to justify the “crappy” part) I was starting to feel better. We waited for a few hours when the test results came back the doctor comes in and says…well…” your pain is definitely justified, you are trying to pass a kidney stone”…ugh. I must admit I was happy to hear that it was justified, but seriously this is all new territory to me. I had never felt such pain in my life so I was still a little nervous. However I did get to receive some wonderful narcotics to help with the pain. Anyway long story short…focusing on eating well and exercising was out staged by the kidney stone. NOW its time to get back into action. I will post pics of my bruise later.

Hope..

From: Heather:
HELP!!
Lesley HELP!!! So I am into week 2 of eating, the 29th of April was my surgery came in and weighed in for 1st breakfast on the 6th with a weight loss of 19lbs...Which I was ecstatic about. Now a week later and following the guidelines on food I have actually gained a pound. I am so full of emotions I don't know what to do. Is this normal? I know I need to work on getting my 64oz of water each day, and I am really working hard on this, but this pound thing is really killing me. I have started working out since last week and been doing really good at getting 30+ minutes in a day, but this is discouraging. Any words of wisdom will help. Thanks Heather

From: Sandi.Birch
RE: HELP!!

Hi Heather,
Don’t worry about the scale going up slightly during the full liquid diet; that almost always happens. Before surgery (very low calorie diet) and after surgery (clear liquid diet) you depleted all of your glycogen (the carbohydrate stored in your liver and muscles). Now as you begin to consume some carbohydrates again you will rebuild some of that (and that is a good thing). That carbohydrate is linked together with water so you weight will go up slightly, but the increase on your scale is not fat gain. Don’t worry – just follow the diet recommendations – you will continue to lose weight over time (even if the scale fluctuates some day to day.) Thanks for your good questions, always feel free to contact us for answers, support, and whatever else we can do to help.
Best of luck,
Sandi

Really??

Today is a difficult day. Today marks 2 weeks from surgery, and well my scale is killing me. So we all know that my first week had some remarkable results of a total of 19lbs lost. I was amazed and excited to say the least. Now after following the rules I get on the scale and I have actually gained a pound. It doesn’t make sense. During the week I was down 2 or 3 more pounds and now I get on the scale this morning and up 1…WHAT?? I am embarrassed. I am sick to my stomach. I mean I understand that my first week was a huge loss, but seriously is this normal?? I mean I have started working out and eating the foods I should, and this is what I get back. I want to cry, I want to lie in bed and not get out. It seriously just sickens me. I know that I just need to realize that its ok and my body is just adjusting to all the changes, but seriously that is just easier said then done. I have sent an S.O.S to some of those in the clinic, hoping they can offer up some words of advice, maybe even letting me know that it is somewhat normal. I did not realize exactly how much mental plays a part in this life change until yesterday and today. I am holding my head up, although it is heavy and seems to fall here and there. Lets hope for the best for next week.

Exercise

To do or not to do, that is the question. I mean I know I need to be doing it and I know I will feel better when I do it, but now to just make time to do it. I am setting a goal to work out a minimum of 4 times a week for 30 minutes each time. I have to get this butt into gear.

Tonight was "Hip Hop Abs" all I can say is that I sure don't hip and hop like I use to. Here's hoping that the hipping and hopping will get a little less easier as time goes by.

Ummm yeah!!!

So I made it! I am very happy to say I made it past the chicken and beef broth, along with sugar free jello. Now on to the good stuff. Oatmeal, yogurt, protein shakes, and V8...I know to some that does not sound so great, but to me it sounds amazing. I am thrilled to be moving on in this journey especially when it includes bringing better foods.

Today is a big day for me. Today marks one week from my surgery date. Today is my first official weigh-in....and the results please... well weighing in on 4/29/2010 with a total weight of 275 today I weighed in at 256. Yes that is a total of 19lbs. I am stoked! oh and motivated. I was hoping for a good number but seriously never dreamed of one that big. Its exciting and surreal all at the same time. It has been a while since I have seen the 250's, I am a little ashamed to admit, but I am proud to say that I am in the 250's. It was funny the other day my dear sweet friend and i were talking about what I weighed when starting out on this journey, and I stated the facts 275, she was shocked. Not a bad shock, but more of I did not even realize you were that big. She is to sweet. She has never seen me as large as I really am, and that truly means a lot to me. However, I do see myself for as large as I am as well as how thin I am to be.

I need to tell my mom thanks! Thanks for driving me to Idaho to meet with my new "gang". Thanks for letting me chat your ears off and get excited and share this moment with you. It was great I know she wants this for me as much as I do, and that makes it that much easier to accomplish it.

One more day, and one week down!

So tomorrow is the “big” day. Yep Thursday the 6th marks one week from surgery, and my follow up. I am excited to say the least. My mom has graciously agreed to go with me to my follow-up and what they call “First Breakfast”. I am excited to include her on this new life change.

My parents have always been so supportive of me trying to become healthier. Once upon a time I would do Tae-Bo in their living room and my dad use to say “So when you going to be an aerobics instructor?” They have always wanted me to be happy with my body as well as help me to become the healthy women that I wanted to be. I remember many talks with my dad, who just happens to be someone that I admire for his attention to fitness. He really cares about his health and works hard to improve it. He is a great role model to me. Honestly if I can just keep up with him on a bicycle one of these days, I would know that the healthy me has come full circle. My mom is one who has helped me countless times in starting new “diets” you know helping contribute to buying the right foods. Supporting me and accompanying me at WeightWatcher meetings, and in turn she herself has become so much healthier. She is looking GREAT! I am so proud of her and what she has accomplished over the last year or so. She is one busy lady who keeps herself going from early AM to late PM…I don’t see how she does it. However I am sure her being healthy has helped a lot.

Well anyway today is a pretty good day. Pretty good energy, and trying to keep it going. I am excited to be on this new journey and need to keep up this excitement. Bring on a 2nd week!!